→ If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
----------- ----------- ------------- -------------- ------------------- ---------------------
---------------------
→ When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
----------------------
→ Conserve toilet paper, use both sides.
-----------
→ I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
→ Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
→ Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
-------------
→ First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
→ Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
→ My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...
→ Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole…
→ News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
---------------------
→ God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
--------------------
→ The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
---------------------
→ CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this
--------------------
→ Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?
-------------------
→ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
---------------------
→ Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
---------------------
→ I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
---------------------
→ Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
----------------------
→ Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
----------------------
→ I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...
---------------------
→ There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
-----------------------
→ What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that lil thing?
How do you breathe through that lil thing?
------------------------
→ What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
------------------------
→ Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
------------------
→ Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
-------------------
→ What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!
Magnets have a positive side!
-----------------
→ The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
-----------------
→ WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
--------------------
→ What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
---------------------
→ Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
----------------------
→ Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
---------------------
→ I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
----------------------
→ Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pushups in a cucumber field.
No comments:
Post a Comment