Saturday 27 August 2011

Top Funny One liner Jokes,quotes and sayings page(6)

People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.
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A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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Don't steal. That's the government's job.
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What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry?
Never lick the spoon.
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Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.
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Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.
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Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, why isn't anything in the store is free yet?
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Hurricanes are like women: when they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car. 
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Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.
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Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
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America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.
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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
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