Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.
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At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
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Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
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Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think.
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To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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It's O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !
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They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
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Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
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The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
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Why is it that in the US: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: "There's a naked person outside!"
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All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
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If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
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What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
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If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
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Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
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Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
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Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git".
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Page:(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)
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At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don't. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
-----------------
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
-----------------
Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think.
------------------
To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.
------------------
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
------------------
It's O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !
-------------------
They say when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage, it is self-defense.
-------------------
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
--------------------
The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common "enemy".
--------------------
Why is it that in the US: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing an Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: "There's a naked person outside!"
--------------------
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
--------------------
If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
--------------------
What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
--------------------
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
---------------------
Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.
---------------------
Sex is like software: For every one who pays for it there are hundreds getting it for free.
---------------------
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
---------------------
Americans have different ways of saying things. They say "elevator", we say "lift"... they say "President", we say "stupid psychopathic git".
---------------------
Page:(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)
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