1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
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You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
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People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
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Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
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Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
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Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
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Alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk.
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I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
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Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
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100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
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It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
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Page:(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)
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You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
---------------------
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
---------------------
Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
---------------------
Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.
---------------------
I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
---------------------
A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.
---------------------
Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
---------------------
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems...but then again, neither does milk.
---------------------
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
---------------------
Alcohol is not the answer, it just makes you forget the question.
---------------------
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?
---------------------
It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.
---------------------
Page:(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7)
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