Santa Banta Funny Jokes Page(3)

Funniest Joke

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing. Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn't laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death. Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, "One day........." and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta. Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him. Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly. The boss asked him, "Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?" Santa said laughing and giggling, "Oh! How funny Banta's joke was!"

Have an Affair

Banta, “All of the thrill is gone from my marriage.” Santa, “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?" Banta, “But what if my wife finds out?” Santa, “Heck, this is a new age we live in. Go ahead and just tell her about it.” Banta goes home to his wife and says, “Preeto, I think an affair will help bring us closer together.” Preeto, “Forget it, I’ve already tried that. It didn’t work.”

Archery Contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest. The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position... He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target. Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers! The second archer with a cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood's arrow into two!!! He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!! Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position... He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!

Banta`s Date

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal." Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, "It was a flop idea." Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?" Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

Office Memo

To: All Employees Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Lunch Breaks: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Restroom Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category. Surgery: As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week.

Transferring Files

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him. 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option. 2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC. 3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file. 4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

Java Interview

Java Interview attended by our Banta: Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads? A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.

Shitty Santa

Santa and Banta are riding through the desert on their horses. As they ride along, Banta smells something horrible. He stops his horse and turns around. He says, "Hey, you shit your pants?" Santa says, "No." He believes him and they keep riding. As they go on, the smell gets worse. The smell is so bad, flys begin to swarm. Banta stops his horse and turns around. He then says, "Are you sure you did not shit your pants?" Santa, "Yes, I am sure." They keep going and now the smell is getting to be unbearable. Santa is swatting the flys away. Banta stops his horse and gets off his horse. He then says, "Get of your horse. Pull down your pants. I thought you said you did not shit your pants?" Santa replies, "I thought you meant today!"

The New Doctor

A woman went to the doctor's office. Where she was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said, "Does she still have the hiccups?

Furniture Dealer

Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find. After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Ludhiana. To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat. Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something in Tamil (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her. After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up. Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed. To this day, Banta has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.

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