Supernatural | |
| There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 A.M., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM. A worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 A.M., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil. Just when the clock struck 11 Santa, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner. |
The Right Step | |
| Two drunk, Santa and Banta, were walking along a dirt road one day when they came upon a pile of some brown stuff on the ground. "Is that shit, Banta?" Santa said. "I don't really know." Responded Banta as he bent over, "it smells like shit." Santa leaned in and dipped his finger into the mysterious pile. "It feels like shit!" Banta too dipped his finger into the mysterious pile and without hesitation shoved the finger in his mouth. "Sure tastes like shit, buddy! I think it's definitely shit." "Hooooeee!" Responded Santa, "Good thing we didn’t step in it!" |
The Last Day | |
 Santa walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of the strongest thing you've got."He takes the shot glass and knocks it back. He then asks for another one and knocks that on back, too. After about five or six of these the bartender decides that he's going to cut the guy off. Bartender says to Santa, "Hey, what's wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your wife or something?" Santa sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that she wasn't going to speak to me for a whole month!" The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what's wrong with that?" Santa replied, "Well today's the last day!" |
Pole Length | |
| A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick. Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?" Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole." The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away. Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is! |
Drowsy Santa | |
| At night someone knocks on the door. Jeeto wakes up and asks: "Santa, is that you?" Silence. She returns to bed. Again a knock. "Santa, don't make me nervous, is that you?" Silence. She waits a while then returns to bed. Again a knock. She opens the door to find her drunken husband, Santa, standing there. "You moron! I was asking if it was you, why weren't you answering???" "I was nodding you!!!" |
Accident Scene | |
| Two guys were roaring down a country road on a motorcycle when the driver slowed up and pulled over. His leather jacket had a broken zipper, and he told his friend, "I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in the chest like that." "Just put the jacket on backwards," his friend advised. They continued down the road but around the next bend, they lost control and wiped out. Banta came upon the accident and ran to call the police. They asked him, "Are they showing any signs of life?" "Well," Banta explained, "the driver was until I turned his head around the right way!" |
An Identity Problem | |
| Santa and Banta sitting in the bar at Raja Sansi Airport, Amritsar. "I've come to meet my brother," said the Santa. "He's due to fly in from Canada in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years." "Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the Banta. "I'm sure I won't," said Santa, "after all, he's been away for a long time." "I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the Banta. "Of course he will," said Santa. "Sure, I haven't been away at all." |
Medical Prescription | |
| Santa's father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day. Santa notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so. Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Santa. His father said, "Read that label. That's why!" Santa takes the bottle and reads, "Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN." |
The Ladies Man | |
| "I'm scared," Banta said to one of his friends. "I got a letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say." "You like her that much?" the friend asks. "It's not that," declared Banta. "He didn't sign his name!" |
Constipated Horse | |
| Banta goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated." The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there." Banta comes back the next day, and he looks very sick. The vet says, "What happened?" Banta says, "The horse blew first." |
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